Message 02-12-06

Series: Sexuality

Scripture: Song of Songs 1:15-2:7

Title: PG

Intro:

Some of you probably remember and have seen the movie "Finding Nemo". For those of you who missed it . . . too bad. But this is the story of a little clown fish – orange and white striped fish – that gets frustrated with his father and home. When he’s angry his little friends warn him not to go too far. There’s a small boat sitting on the surface a little ways off that they call a "but". And they tell Nemo – "don’t touch the but." Of course, he touches it and gets caught and taken away to an aquarium.

Well, I want you to remember that as we go through our exploration of Scripture today. There’s going to be a bunch of times when you’re going to want me to say "but". There are going to be moments when you’re thinking of talking with your own children or friends about what we talk about today and you’re going to want to say "but". So, I’m telling you right now. "Don’t touch the ‘but.’" The "but" is where you’re going to want to add certain values or qualifications into what I’m saying or what you’re thinking or what you think you should say, especially when you’re talking to unmarried people or young people or children. And there are times when it is really appropriate to share those values, but this isn’t one of those times. "Don’t touch the ‘but.’" Just remember.

Now, I have a question for you. Has anyone here heard a sermon that used this book of the Bible before? The Song of Songs or the Song of Solomon as it’s called in some places is a book that is usually not mentioned a lot in the Christian communities. I heard it read – a portion – in weddings, but I’ve never heard it used as a text for preaching. But we’re doing it today because we’re going to explore what does the Bible actually say about sex.

Study:

I need to drop back a week and just remind you of our starting place as we consider sexuality. Scripture teaches us that we were created in God’s image – all of us are created in God’s image and we express that best as males and females living and working together in community. Intimacy in sexuality is not necessarily a sexual act. Friendship, working relationships between men and women, conversations over shared interests in community are all an expression of sexuality. Sexual activity is a different expression, a more personal expression of our sexuality, but it isn’t the only or even the deepest expression. First, we begin with community – living and working together, sharing our perspectives and insights and abilities as male and female human beings. Then we move to personal expressions, even being in love.

What does the Bible say about sexuality?

From the beginning to the end of the Bible we are presented with a graphic, in your face, unembarrassed commentary on humanity from God’s perspective and within that God talks about sexuality. Sometimes God uses it as an illustration of his relationship with us. Sometimes it is the best way of understanding our relationship with God – its wonderful joining together and its tragic separation. But throughout the Bible sex and sexuality is seen as a great thing. God and the Bible say that sex is great!

Tell your children that… and don’t say "but". It’s difficult not to put the "but" in there because if you’re a parent you immediately want to make sure your kids get certain values. Can you understand the value they receive from hearing "God and the Bible say that sex is great!"? Don’t touch the ‘but.’

You can also say that the Bible doesn’t shy away from talking about it. Right in the middle of our Bibles we have a vividly clear, erotic masterpiece of poetry. What a strange thing. Now there have been a lot of attempts through the ages to interpret this book as a description of God’s love for the church of Jesus. Paul, the Apostle, uses the intimacy of sexual activity as a illustration of the union of Christ and his church – a mystery he calls it. So it is understandable that New Testament oriented people step off into interpreting this book as an expression of the love relationship between the Lord and his people. And there is nothing wrong with that interpretation.

But at the same time we need to admit what we are looking at. When we read the Bible it is always important to remember what we are actually reading as we read it. We need to remind ourselves that we are reading letters, we are reading diaries, we are reading history books, and we are reading poetry. One of the most important things we need to do as people of the Book is to look at the material in front of us both as the full Word of God and also as the human documents that they are. We don’t devalue their inspiration by admitting that they were received first as a diary or as a letter or as poetry. It is like recognizing that Jesus was completely God and completely human. Both Jesus and the Bible are called "the Word of God". There is a similarity. There was a time when people only saw Jesus as a man and we need to remind ourselves that he was a real human sometimes. And so we have before us in this book – the Song of Songs – a masterpiece of erotic poetry.

Now, some people are going to be uncomfortable with the word "erotic" and I realize that. I’m using the word because that is the appropriate word. This is a book about sexual love and that’s all the word erotic means – sexual love. The problem with the word and using the word is that for some people it now means something bad or wrong. The reason it’s gone that way is because people who want to make money from sexuality have begun using it. Don’t let them get away with that. Our sexuality and our sexual activity is a gift from God that God calls great. He thinks it is so great that in the middle of his book he gives us a description of how beautiful and precious it is. Do you know how we get it back from the money makers and the marketers? We overturn their tables. Use the word appropriately. Use it plainly. This is a gift from God and we can not let them rule it.

Karl Barth, the 20^th Century theologian, called the Song of Songs God’s commentary on Genesis 2:25. I like that idea. Genesis 2:25 was read to us just a bit ago – "The man and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame." This is God expanding on that description, on that moment. One of the things we need to claim back, because it is the perspective of God’s Word, is that we should be unashamed. There is an appropriate time to talk about everything. Not too long ago I read a great thought by a great Presbyterian minister, Fred Rogers. Remember Mr. Rogers? He said,

We need to mention sex to each other without touching the ‘but.’ We need to talk about it plainly with people we trust because it is important and we need to be able to hear it talked about because it is human. We are human. This is the way God created us and the Bible is willing to talk about it. We need to follow the example of the Bible in the same way we follow the example of Jesus. Because once we start mentioning it, it will become more manageable. Parents, I urge you to talk with your children whenever they bring up any issue of sexuality. If it is an inappropriate moment – a public moment – say, "That’s a great question. That’s a private thing we can talk about later." And then talk about it as soon as you are not in a public setting. Young people I urge you to talk with your parents. I realize that sometimes this is difficult and I encourage you to think about when you are bringing up subjects like this. Watch for times when they are in a good mood. Parents, you should do the same thing. Don’t just spring things on your kids and kids don’t just spring stuff on your parents. Pick a good moment when things are relaxed. But talk with each other. If you have trouble doing that, come and talk with me. I’ll be happy to talk with you.

The reason I’m urging you to do this is because you are here in this place and in this place we need to know that it is okay to talk about everything human. We need to realize that God taught us, ingrained in us, hardwired us to be in relationship with each other. We started off being unashamed and that’s what we’re called back to. Do you know what’s scary to me? The people who are making money off of sexuality are becoming less and less ashamed. They are becoming impudent, boldly rude. We need to bring this conversation back home and make it what it is supposed to be. The difference between the people of God and the people making money from sexuality is that we become celebrative.

We’re going to get into what’s "wrong" with the things we call wrong in a couple of weeks, but, first, we need to reclaim our footing on this issue. Sexuality, according to the Bible is a great thing and we need to celebrate it. We need to realize that the Bible talks of unashamed passion and unashamed mutuality. From the beginning of the Bible to the end we can celebrate that passion is a good thing in a relationship and that both the male and female are equals.

Now some may question that.

But the creation of humanity in Genesis is shown as equal. This poem in moving back and forth between the Lover and the Beloved demonstrates that there is equality. Each of these passages comes from a patriarchal culture – a culture that was heavily steeped in male dominance and that just makes them even more impressive. When it comes to sexual activity the Bible holds up the view that we have equal standing, male and female.

The Apostle Paul tells us that:

The Puritans understood this. Last week I shared how the Puritans have gotten put down from the sexually exploitive community of our society. And I shared how the Puritans had a Biblical view of sexuality and sexual activity. The first role of sexual activity was for fellowship. That’s what the Puritans taught in their community. The second thing they taught was that sexual activity was to be characterized by equal standing. Each partner had the right to seek sexual activity from the other. We have documented court cases in which wives took their husbands before the judges saying that the husband was not providing enough sexual activity. I haven’t read the cases but I have always been curious as to how this would be argued. But I do know the outcome of the cases was that the judges ruled in favor of the wives and told the husbands to get on with it. Even when the husbands argued that they were withholding from sexual relations for "spiritual" reasons. The judges told them they had to live out the spiritual life of sexual relations as well. The Puritans got this. The Bible makes men and women equal.

Our Scripture paints out a picture of beauty and worth. It paints out a picture of love that is caring, passionate and mutual. It lifts up a very reachable, tangible expression of love. Here, in this book, we have a call to those who are called into caring, loving, personal relationships to express that with unashamed passion and unquestioned mutuality. The physical expression of love in all its elements is lifted up by God because it is anchored in God’s love for us.

What the Bible says about sex is – Sex is great! And there are no "buts" about it.

Lover

15 How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves.

Beloved

16 How handsome you are, my lover!  Oh, how charming!  And our bed is verdant.

Lover

17 The beams of our house are cedars; our rafters are firs.

Beloved

1 I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys.

Lover

2 Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens.

Beloved

3 Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men.  I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. 4 He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love.  5 Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love.  6 His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me.  7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field:  Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.